Christmas Eve Book Promo - or - Books That Should Really be Written

The book:
Life Beyond the Internet

-The tragic true story of a man, Dan de Manson, who left the safety of virtual reality to abscond into nature.

Concerning de Manson:
 
"Why did he leave? Facebook can offer us everything we will ever need... except nutrition, oxygen, and hydration." ~Bob Dutch

"Nature? He wanted 'Nature'? He could have Googled 'Nature'" ~Samantha Fae Argyle

"YouTube has double rainbows... All the way across the sky! Does nature have double rainbows all the way across the sky? I think not." ~Alan Pinkerton

A single tear-shedding emoticon for those lost. :'(

~Rafe

P.S.
I'd buy that book... if it existed. :\

P.P.S.
Merry Christmas! :D

"A Modest Tribute" aka The Poem I Wrote, Lost, Subsequently Found and Ultimately Forgot the Meaning Of

So I cleaned my room this morning... EARLY.

I haven't even gone to sleep yet, and it's 3:18 AM.

I finished cleaning my room maybe an hour ago. :\

Anywho... the point is this:

Whilst throwing away trash I stumbled on a piece of paper with a poem I wrote who-knows-how-long ago.

My room was dirty. :\

Anywhosits, I've decided to share the poem I wrote, lost, and subsequently found with you. (I'm leaving all the grammar, punctuation and capitalization exactly how I found them. Some of it's kind of weird... so... sic!)

Here 'tis:

A modest tribute in a thousand words

could utter we

To the flowing of the faerie's sigh

Wishing we could see

What heaven hath brought with Michael's name

A conqueror of Smiles

A lover's game

From Something past to something more

With someone laughing

And Someone's war

Shall be to see what they can make

Of this and that

of give and take.

Yeah... I don't get it either. :\

If it ever meant anything--a claim I cannot swear to--I have forgotten it entirely.

So, really, this is the question: What does it mean to YOU?

Comment and tell me. ^_^

(Yes, I know this one is a quickie... but I had naught else to brighten your day with at this very early moment.)

So, Ciao!

And, as per my usual request, go do some evil!

~Rafe

Life Updates - Who is With Whom and Who's Having Whose Baby - P.S. Mr. Weirdman

Note the proper uses of "Who," "Whom," "Who's," and "Whose." -_- (This will be really embarrassing if I used one of them wrong...)

So, this post is just an update on some of the peeps I mention a lot in my blog. Just so you know what's going on in their lives... and so I can mock them. :D

To begin with, my most ardent follower, Satchel.

Satchel, as you know, is married to Sheriff Woody, and they have three sons, Jose, Jimp, and Lex. As you also know (if you read my posts) Satchel and Woody are expecting another baby.

A "Baby Boulder" is like a "Baby Bump" ... only... BIGGER ... but iz a cute kind of "BIGGER"

The new baby will be the fourth minion from Satchel Minions, Inc. Will technically be my fifth minion though. Mr. Wilson (not previously blogged about) was my first true minion, but I haven't heard from him for a while.

Jamaal (the diminutive one... remember?) is about ready to marry Chief (who is, incidentally, Mr. Wilson's uncle).

I'm fairly certain he'll actually wear a tux on the day of.

Queenie cut her hair, dyed it, and is forcing me to watch My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic.

She's actually rather intimidating when she wants to be...

Honestly, I would never have even considered watching Ponies if it weren't for the unending blah-blahing that Queenie is capable of.

I'm proud to say I've lived through a few episodes. o.O No one can ever accuse me of not being open anyway...

So that's where they stand right now.


Have you ever met a Mr. Weirdman???
(Smooth segue, eh?)

It's that one guy with an obnoxious mustache (or a mullet) and ball cap who rambles on and on about everything and nothing whilst making strange faces and leaving you no recourse but to nod and say "uhuh."
Mr. Weirdman either the life of the party or the bane of the...other party... :\

He's the guy that brings a gun to a tornado.

True fact.

It was a stormy afternoon not too many months ago when we were on our porch watching the weather (as Kansans are wont to do) and our neighbor came over. He was wearing shorts, no shoes, a T-shirt, a ball cap and... a holster? He held a beer in one hand, and a revolver in the other.

He was the mullet kind of Weirdman

"Here," He handed Evic his beer, "Hold this while I load."

The End! :D

(Don't you hate it when writers bring the story to the first interesting instance and then... stop?)

Mr. Weirdmans are everywhere.

Watch out for them.

Now... go do some evil. -_-

Ciao!

~Rafe