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Saturday, April 23, 2011

A Letter from my Doctors... a Reply from their Patient

First some back story:

The Doctors at the CF (yes, I have Cystic Fibrosis) clinic apparently don't understand common courtesy. Who schedules appointments with people without asking them when they're free? Or even, at the very least, telling that person when they they are free and asking them which of these dates/times work? (Follow that?)

The Doctors at the Clinic do. :\

Needless to say they scheduled me an appointment and sent me a little letter summoning my presence at an arbitrarily set date and time that neither I nor ANY of my family members had a hand in selecting. A while later I got a letter saying that that date and time didn't work for them, and that we would have to reschedule. (I thought that was funny. They can't even summon me when THEY are free...)

A day or two later we got a phone-call from the doctors. They wanted to schedule an appointment with me. I wasn't home at the time, and my mother took the call.

What my mother told them: "I don't know his schedule, you'll really have to talk to him."

Not even a tentative decision was reached in that conversation.

A few days later I received a letter informing me that I was summoned to an appointment that was again set arbitrarily without me or my family having any say in the matter.

I rolled my eyes, and promptly forgot about the appointment. Oops.

Today I received this letter:

Biltz, Raphael J

This letter is a reminderof our office policy concerning missed appointments. You and/or a family member missed your appointment. Per *Hospital Name Deleted* policy you and/or your family members will be dismissed from the clinic after three no shows. When you cannot keep an appointment, you MUST call prior to your appointment to cancel. If this is not done, you will be dismissed from the clinic and then would have to find a physician outside the *Name Deleted* outpatient clinics. If you have questions, you may contact our office.

Please do not ignore this warning.

*Hospital Name Deleted*

I have written the following reply:

*Hospital Name Deleted*

This letter is a reminder of my patient policy concerning scheduling appointments. You and/or a staff member scheduled an appointment without consulting me. Per my policy you and/or your appointment will be ignored when arbitrarily scheduled without my consent. When you wish to schedule an appointment, as per the dictates of common courtesy, you MUST call prior to setting the appointment time and date and confer with me. If this is not done, you will not be taken seriously. If you have questions, you may contact me at home.

Please do not ignore this reminder.

Raphael J. Biltz

Do you know why they call people receiving medical attention "Patients"? Because you really have to be patient with the Doctors. Not only do they make you wait twenty minutes in a cold room (as often as not in your underwear) they act like idiots and we have to remain polite.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Tired Eyes and Cappuccino

Greetigns, Evildoers,

You may not know (or care) about my plight this morning, so (but) I've decided to tell you.

I had to get up early. Freakishly early. Like, no-one-with-half-a-brain-is-awake-right-now early.

About 6:15.

Yeah, yeah... I know you get up that early (or earlier) every day of the week. But you're not nocturnal like me. I am a greakture of the night. (That's a Geek/Creature.) If I have to get up before 9:00, then it's early. If I have to ge up before 7:30 it's "freakishly early," and if I have to get up before 6:20, it's ... what I said up there ^^ early.

Anywho, I labored through my nightmare of a morning, and kept myself going for I knew that just minutes after leaving the house I would be rewarded with a steaming-hot, delicious cup of AMAZING Cappuccino. (<--Is that the correct spelling? This doesn't have a spell-check, and it looks weird... Oh well. Forgive me any misspellings.) I took my medicine, got clean, packed up what I needed to get through the day, and then got in the car. My eyes were tired, but I managed to make it to the gas station. I stood out in the cold, pumping gas, and wishing I had worn a long-sleeved shirt. It was chilly. But I knew that steaming-hot cup of AMAZING Cappuccino would make me warm and awake. It was going to be the most EPIC cappuccino ever in the history of awesome. -_- I was sure of it. Finally I ran inside and went back to the instant AMAZING Cappuccino machine. I pulled out a cup, hardly able to keep the drool in my mouth from the sheer awesomeness of the cappuccino I was about to drink. I shoved the cup under the tap and hit the button! I could see it! MY CAPPUCCINO!!! Instantly warning bells went off in my brain. *BROOP* *BROOP* The Little Voice of Fear and Death Inside My Head (TLVFDIMH) was screaming. "Something's wrong with it! It looks funny!" It did look funny... but I needed it... it may have been just a new blend, or maybe it was fresher (or older) than I'd ever gotten it before... I don't know... maybe it was fate's way of hating me? I paid for the cup and rushed back out to my car. Tired, cold, and running late, I NEEDED that cappuccino... and I needed it to be good!

I took a swig.

Suddenly my face contorted in disgust. It was... cold. Ish. Cold-ish. I mean, it was warm when compared to outside, or even, probably, the surface of my skin. But, compared to anything that ever resembled a half-decent or not sucky cup of flavored coffee, it was cold.

And tasted like Ick.

I was never certain what "Ick" tasted like exactly... until I drank that cappuccino.

It was the antithesis of my steaming-hot AMAZING Cappuccino.

I was sad.

Today is a dark and dastardly day for the Rafe.

Let the Cappuccino Requiems sound...

*Note: I looked up "Cappuccino" and I am indeed spelling it correctly.

Ciao, I guess.

As per the usual request: Go do some evil.

~The Rafe

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What Are We Doing Here?

Greetings, Evildoers,

What ARE we doing here?

Didn't you already have a blog, Rafe?

Yes. I did.


Okay, so this one is my new and improved blog. To see older posts you can go here.

I'm just trying out a new lighter (in color, not humor) blog. It's my answer to the ooh... this is dark and not friendly looking-ness of Magillichetti's.


And, as always,
Go do some evil!