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Thursday, January 12, 2012

I Scared Her ^_^ It Was Fun - plus whatever I ramble on about...

I scared a woman at Target the other day. (No, not THAT day... the other day.)

'Cause I'm creepy like that. >:)

I'll bet you're wondering what happened?

So is Queenie... I told her about it, but not really. I told her that I scared someone, and that she would have to read my blog to find out more. -_- I love to tease.

Okay, so let me see if I can tell it funnily.

First of all, I was out with Queenie and Mom-Lady doing some last minute Christmas shopping. (It was the 23rd day of our favorite month with Christmas in it.) That's approximately two days before our favorite day with Christmas on it.

Yay, Christmas!

Festive, isn't it?
Ah... don't you love it when bloggers begin a post BEFORE Christmas, and then don't go trying to finish it until almost three weeks later? Me too.

Yay laziness!

Okay, back to my story.

I was Christmas shopping at Target. 

Whilst I was engaged in this activity, I was wearing a very special shirt. Let me explain...

I have back problems. I hunch, and have a bit of scoliosis. (Scoliosis is like deadly back breakage, only less so... it's actually more like a curvy spine... my spine's not straight... no, it's not gay either. Sheesh.) Because of this I sometimes wear an uncomfortable, white shirt under my comfortable, non-white shirt. The uncomfortable, white shirt is very tight, and pulls on my shoulders, and rides up in my armpits. It's supposed to help me stand up straighter. (Leave to doctors to find a way to make uncomfortable underwear "healing.")

Meanwhile, back in the story I'm telling, I was looking at hats. I showed a particularly cool cat to Queenie. She said I looked creepy. (Not sure if that was intended as a compliment or an insult...)

Then Queenie left.

I walked to the edge of the hat aisle, and stood, staring off into space with my face pointed in the general direction of the people walking by in the main aisle. I wasn't going anywhere, because I was busy trying to pull my uncomfortable, white shirt out of my armpits a bit. (Of course, I was doing it so no one would notice... 'cause I'm smooth like that.)

As I was doing this a pretty young lady walked by. I saw her, she saw me. I saw her see me, and she saw me see her. I saw her see me see her, and she saw me see her see me. I saw... etc. ad infinitum.

I didn't really take note of her.

BUT (and this is an important "but") she must have taken note of me. (Keep in mind, I am ravishingly good looking... women can't help but notice me... remember the She-Cop?) Also, I finished suavely picking my pits just as she walked past me. So I stepped out into the main aisle, and proceeded to look for where Queenie went.
Coincidentally, I had stepped out into the main aisle with the pretty young lady just about ten paces ahead of me.

So, to recap, here's the situation:
I look creepy (according to Queenie, anyway). I (while staring off into space) seemingly leer at a pretty young woman as she walks by. She notices me. I fall into step just a few paces behind her... as if... (dare I say it?) ...following her! >:D

Jaws music begins... NOW!
That's when I noticed her glance over her shoulder... at me.
Duuuuh.... dum.
I don't think she was checking me out.

She started walking faster.

She glanced over at me again.

She started walking even faster!

By this time I was grinning. (Probably didn't help my trustworthiness factor...)
"Do you wanna know how I got these scars???"
The next thing I know, she's darted around the corner and is running off into the towels, pillows, and pillow pets section.

Despite the overwhelming urge to follow her, I don't want anyone to call the police. So I stroll along my merry way, never to see the pretty, albeit scared witless, girl again.

>:) I hope I haunt her nightmares...

That is all. ^_^


I do have one request.

If you happen to be the girl I scared... respond to this blog. :D I'm not really a creeper (sometimes...)

Anywhosist... ciao.

And, as always, go do some evil!

P.S. Queenie got me the hat I admired for Christmas. Yay, life!