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"Teach me to run with scissors..."

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Oops... LEGO

This was supposed to go with the last post... I'm  a failure for forgetting it. :( You may now hate me (for a minute or two anyway...)

Thursday, October 13, 2011



"Schadenfreude" is the joy attained from the misfortunes of others. It's like a mild form of sadism with less sexual connotations.

Like how I'm going to be all giddy about your disappointment on realizing that this is an exteremly short post that's not really about anything... and the only picture is completely unrelated. :\

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Just a Quickie with a Cop--In which you must forgive any typos because the spell check thing isn't working

The other day I had an encounter with a She Cop.

She was scary.

Scary She Cop
Well... SHE wasn't scary, per se, but what she DID was scary, per se. I like to say "per se."

Allow me to elaborate.

I was driving (in a car) on my way to drop off some movies that I had rented and were late. Anywhosits, as I was driving (in a car) I was messing with the radio. Because I was messing with the radio I didn't notice the light in front of me turn yellow.

Oh No!

As it was, I probably wouldn't have stopped anyway, because I was too close to the intersection to stop, but I passed through a yellow light.

And that's when I saw a cop car coming from the other direction.
The She Cop was inside. (I coul see her...)

Suddenly she pulled into the turning lane, and, just after I passed her, she made a U-turn (possibly illegally) and got into traffic RIGHT BEHIND ME!

I shit you not.

So, to recap, I ran a yellow light, she cop made an illegal U-turn to pull into traffic right behind me, and I am not shitting you.

I was nervous.

But she didn't turn on her lights.

So I kept going.

She stayed right behind me.

But she didn't turn on her lights.

So I kept going.

Finally I turned left, and she went straight, and, alas, we never saw each other again.

But she scared me.

My theory is that since I could see her, she could probably see me too. When she was driving towards me she must have spotted me, and been awe-struck by my excessive cuteness.

That's right. She wanted a piece of this.

Obviously what happened was this: the She Cop had never seen anything so beautiful as me in her whole life, and she turned and followed me PURELY for the joy of gazing at me with utter adulation for a few brief moments more.

It was probably the highlight of her life... and the closest I'll get to a girlfriend.

I will cherish it like nobody's business.

So that, my friends, was my quickie with a cop... a She Cop.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Magic Vans, Combustible Craniums, and Cinematic Awesomeness!!!

I love technology.

It makes people forget how to do things by hand. :)

My parents recently bought a magic van. You can open and close the side doors by pressing a button on the keys. It's MAGIC! Sort of.

I only bring this up because my mother, aka "Mom Lady," had a senior moment with the magic van.

Mom Lady with Magic Van... and neighbor's house.
 Mom Lady is a hippie. Minus the mind-altering drugs and free love, of course. She's one of those "sane" hippies... sort of.

The other day she got home from the store, and after we brought the groceries in, she tried to close the magic door by using the magic button.

It didn't do anything.

She tried again.

No result.

"It's not working." She said, "What are we going to do?"

"I'll get it." I ran over to the magic van, and (amazingly) pulled the door shut.

I turned back around, and Mom Lady was laughing.

"I did it the old fashioned way." I said.

She looked at me, "I didn't even think about that."



Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "what about combustible craniums and cinematic awesomeness?" Well, hold your freaking horses!

And, uh, can I ride one of your horses?

Anywho, I want to be a filmmaker.

My dream...
And so does Evic...
...and hers.
So we were both excited when we discovered a film school was opening up in a city close to us.

"Yipee!" ...or whatever.

They were going to call it "Brain Flame" or some other name that evokes graphic images of combustible craniums... I still might want to go there, so I don't want to mock them by their actual name. :P

We promptly found their website, and I e-mailed them.

No reply.

Months later...

...still no reply.

Evic e-mailed them.

No reply.

Months later...

...still no reply.

Since both Mom Lady and Dad Man are supportive of our dreams...

...when they found themselves in said city, only blocks away from said film school, Mom Lady said, "Let's stop by there, and see if they'll talk to us.

They stopped by.

They talked to them.

When Mom Lady and Dad Man returned home they told us all about it. It was AMAZING!!!

Evic and I resolved to go visit them ourselves.

So, a short time later, Evic and I drove up to visit Brain Flame.

Next door to the film school was another "university" with a strange name. I told Evic it was probably a brothel-girl training school. She disagreed. Something about it being illegal, and that my mind was in the gutter.


We made it to Brain Flame.

Upon arrival... we found the doors locked. :(

It seemed that there was a conspiracy to keep Evic and I away from Brain Flame forever.

We discussed the annoyingness of not being able to contact them on the way home.

When I returned home and told Mom Lady about it she said "Oh, we didn't talk to anyone inside the Brain Flame building. You have to go into the brothel school and ask to see the Brain Flame people, and they'll come talk to you."

"So it is a brothel school?"

Okay, at this point I'm making up the brothel school stuff... maybe my mind IS in the gutter???

Anywho... here's a bonus pic for you.

I call it "Heil Hepburn!"